Bike Rider Falls in Shame

It’s time for bike riders to stop terrorizing the campus walkways. Bikers seem to think that it’s okay for them to weave through dense pedestrian traffic at ridiculously high speeds. It’s not okay. It is, in fact, unecessary. Our state is currently the second fattest state, only behind Mississippi. Stop riding a bike and walk off the pounds. Sure, bikers are helping our planet by "going green," but thats all the more reason why I don't like them. More to come on that in a later article.

Bikers are a destructive force on our sidewalks. This is why it gives me so much pleasure to tell you this story. Coming out of Shelby Hall, I was walking with a group of about 20 to 30 people when a biker decided to test his weaving abilities through our crowd. As he passed by, narrowly avoiding arms, backpacks, and other extremities, the crowd immediately became angry at the biker. As the biker went off the sidewalk and onto the pavement, he hit a patch of sand and his bike was upended. The rider flew off and, not wearing a helmet, smashed his head upon the pavement. The contents of his folder that he was carrying was spread all over the pavement. No one did a thing. A professor walked by, but stayed his distance. Still angry from his narrow misses earlier, the crowd was in no mood to help the biker. The biker, no doubt embarrassed, slowly arose and drove off. He was bleeding profusely from his arm and ear.

A message to bikers on campus: No one respects a man on a 10-speed. Get off your high horse and walk.